Grace

I never really thought about this until this morning, but Paul had hunted and persecuted followers of Messiah, as a Pharisee he was zealous and laid heavy burdens on people, had others put too death.

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: ⁵ circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; ⁶ as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless. Philippians 3:4-6

⁶ Then Paul, knowing that some of them were Sadducees and the others Pharisees, called out in the Sanhedrin, “My brothers, I am a Pharisee, descended from Pharisees. I stand on trial because of the hope of the resurrection of the dead.” Acts 23:6

Notice that he doesn’t say he was a Pharisee but uses present tense. He could have used the authority behind that position numerous times after he had his encounter with the Messiah, but Paul made the decision to walk in God’s authority not mans.

To the church in Corinth, Paul tells them he had this thorn in his flesh, and goes on to describe it as a messenger of satan. In my bible concordance it pointed to this verse:

“‘But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live. Numbers 33:55

I have heard so many teachings on this thorn in Paul’s flesh, most of them saying he had eye sight problems. The one thing I have learned about Paul recently is he always was using words that point back to the Old Testament. What inhabitants were in the land that had become a thorn in Paul’s flesh?

He definitely upset a lot of the Jewish community, but he also had the proselytes in an uproar and following him everywhere and trying to subvert what he taught which ultimately led to the battle over circumcision. I can see where Paul would have had factions of people that tried to shame him and I’m sure he had times when he had to battle guilt but it is obvious to me that he always took these things to the Lord in prayer.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

We are taught in Church that grace means God’s unmerited favor and we tie this in to Christ’s crucifixion. I feel like “unmerited favor” doesn’t even begin to describe God’s grace. Look at how Paul equates Christ’s power (grace) resting on him.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Think about Paul’s words to the Church in Phillipi where again he is giving us a glimpse of God’s grace.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength Philippians 4:13

In the Old Testament the word for grace is chen. Chen comes from the root word channun which means gracious.

Grace (Chen) is spelled with the Hebrew letters chet and nun (reading right to left) and this word has a numerical value of 58. Words with the same value are always connected with each other in the bible so another word with the value of 58 is Noah (Noach).

Noah’s name spelled nun chet is an anagram of Chen or maybe chen is an anagram of Noah. Noah’s name means rest.

In pictograph language these two words paint a picture of God’s grace in setting apart a family for protection and preservation. From Noah’s name you also understand that God’s grace provides rest.

^{The LORD is compassionate and gracious (channun), slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; Psalms 103:8-13}

In this one verse we get the best definition of God’s grace when it tells us He is slower to anger, abounding in love, not treating us as we deserve, harboring anger forever and then it points to how all of this was accomplished… by removing our transgressions through Christ’s atoning work on the cross.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” Hebrews 4:16

Paul’s history as a Pharisee and persecuting Christians didn’t make him useless to the Lord and I love how he didn’t let others use that against him, instead he openly spoke about it and didn’t give shame that voice to break him. Please know that it’s okay to feel weak, scared, or any other emotion because we have a place where we can go and find help.

Take some time and write down how you feel and take these emotions to the Lord and ask Him to speak truth to your heart and trust Him to work these things out in His time. I also really encourage you even if this doesn’t seem to apply to go through the posts on Freedom to say “I’m enough” and Discerning.